Dating one year after divorce

09 Feb

For some people, that happens before they move out.

Others are still emotionally married after the divorce is final.” Dena Roché started dating while waiting for her divorce papers to come through.

Going on a date and not knowing the rules because the last date you went on was 20 years ago, can be a really scary thing. Weeding through hundreds of guys who probably want to make a suit of my skin, trying to find that one gem who not only is not a serial killer, but who also chews with his mouth closed can be daunting.

My last date before I got married was at a time when people didn’t have computers or smart phones. Only doctors had mobile phones and they were as big as a shoe box! And which of the trillions of online dating sites should you use? The first time I saw the commercial for that, I thought it was an skit! When I first got divorced I felt like I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t know how to change my furnace filter, change the string on the weed whacker or fix my washing machine when it started leaking all over.

You can stay in your pajamas and watch chick flicks on Netflix, or you can get up early and run non-stop all day. The longer you wait, the more scared you are to enter the dating world, especially if you were married a long time and enjoyed the comfort and security of a loving relationship.

The thought of fielding pick-up lines from guys at bars can make you hyperventilate.

It might seem like a good idea but if you think about it, it makes more sense to wait until you have completely recovered from the trauma of your divorce (and possibly the bad relationship that preceded it).

The only ‘don’t’ you must adhere to is that you shouldn’t date to get over your ex.

You might be using this new person to help yourself heal, but he is likely to get hurt in the process.

You are perceived as being a challenge to get your time and attention, thus, making you more desirable.

Putting down your ex or rehashing old hurts will only keep you in a negative and depressed state if mind. A leader, however, creates value because he/she has a full life, his time is scarce.